Keepsake and Sharing Urns: How to Divide Ashes Among Family
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When a family loses someone they love, it is common for more than one person to want a place to remember them. A spouse may want to keep the main urn at home, a grown child may want something small to keep close, and a sibling who lives far away may want a piece of their own. Keepsake urns and sharing urns are made for exactly this.
This guide explains what keepsake and sharing urns are, how much they hold, and how to divide ashes among family in a calm, respectful way.
What Is a Keepsake Urn?
A keepsake urn is a small urn that holds a small portion of cremated remains, usually just a few cubic inches. It is kept by a family member as a personal memorial while the rest of the ashes stay together in a larger urn. Our Tree of Life Heart Urn is a good example. It is a hand-made bronze cloisonné heart that holds 3 cubic inches and measures about 2.9 inches tall by 2.7 inches wide.
What Is a Sharing Urn?
A sharing urn usually means a main urn paired with one or more smaller urns, so a family can divide the ashes between them. Some of our designs are made with this in mind. Our Nature's Spirit urn can be paired with a small companion urn, and our Songbird companion urn is a wooden keepsake that families can keep in addition to a larger memorial.
Want a main urn and keepsakes that go together? Visit our custom urn page or contact us, and we will talk through the options with you.
How Much Ash Does a Keepsake Hold?
A keepsake holds only a small portion of the ashes, from a few cubic inches in a keepsake urn down to a pinch in a piece of jewelry. Because the amounts are so small, you can usually share with several family members and still keep most of the ashes together in the main urn.
| Type of Memorial | Typical Amount of Ashes |
|---|---|
| Full-size adult urn | About one cubic inch per pound of pre-cremation body weight |
| Keepsake urn | A few cubic inches (our Tree of Life Heart holds 3) |
| Cremation jewelry | A pinch, roughly 1/8 teaspoon |
| Ash-infused jewelry | A very small amount blended into resin |
For help sizing the main urn, see our Maryland urn size guide.
How to Divide Ashes Among Family
- Talk it through first. Decide together who would like a keepsake and how it will be used. Agreeing before anything is opened helps avoid surprises and hurt feelings.
- Choose your urns before you divide. Have the main urn and every keepsake on hand so the ashes only need to be divided once.
- Ask your funeral home or crematory. Some can divide the remains into separate containers if you ask when you arrange the cremation.
- If you divide at home, prepare a quiet space. You will want a clean, flat surface, a small funnel, and a spoon or small scoop. Cremated remains typically come in a sealed plastic bag inside a temporary container, so open the bag slowly and carefully.
- Fill the keepsakes first. Place the smaller portions into the keepsake urns, then put the remainder in the main urn.
- Close each urn securely. A simple note about which urn belongs to whom can help later.
Many families do this together, in a quiet moment, and find it a meaningful part of saying goodbye. If the main urn will be buried or placed in a niche, ask the cemetery about any requirements for the urn's size or material before you buy.
Keepsake Options to Consider
- Small keepsake urns: Compact urns, like our heart-shaped keepsake, that can sit on a shelf or dresser.
- Companion urns: A small wooden urn, such as Songbird, that is easy to give to a family member.
- Cremation jewelry: A pendant or ring that holds a pinch of ashes or has them blended into resin. Read our cremation jewelry guide to learn how it works.
- Photo and fingerprint keepsakes: Our keepsakes collection includes photo-engraved and fingerprint keychains. Check each product's description, since some engraved pieces are memorials that do not hold ashes.
Tips for Choosing Keepsakes
- Ask each person what they would like. Some want a keepsake to display, and others want something to carry or wear.
- Think about distance. If family lives out of state, a small keepsake can be shipped or handed over at a gathering.
- Plan for the future. Keepsakes can be passed on to children and grandchildren.
- Personalize if you can. A name, date, or short phrase makes a keepsake feel like it belongs to the person who holds it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it okay to divide ashes?
Many families do, and it is a personal decision. What matters most is that the family is comfortable with it. If your faith or tradition has guidance on this, it may help to speak with a spiritual leader first.
Can I keep some ashes and scatter the rest?
Yes. Many families keep a portion in a keepsake and scatter the remainder. Read our guide on where you can spread ashes in Maryland before you plan a scattering.
How many keepsake urns do I need?
Usually one for each person who would like one. Ask family members before you order so no one is left out.
Can keepsake urns be personalized?
Many of our pieces can be personalized with a name, dates, or a short message. Contact us about the piece you like and we will let you know what is possible.
We're Here to Help
At The Stinson Urn Co., we help Maryland families find the right way to remember a loved one, whether that is a single urn or a main urn with keepsakes for the people who loved them. We serve Calvert, Charles, St. Mary's, Montgomery, Anne Arundel, and Prince George's counties. Reach out with any questions, and we will be glad to help.